radical self care


In Wrestling Ghosts, we observe Kim’s healing journey: her pain at realizing she is not the mom she wants to be, her discovery of what’s preventing her from connecting with her kids, and her breakthrough as she experiences some joy with her family and deepens her connection with her husband. The big question is: how do we begin to heal ourselves, which will in turn heal our relationship with our children and outfit them with a resilient nervous system to prepare them for the future?

We start our healing journey by realizing that by healing ourselves first, we can heal our families. We put our oxygen masks on FIRST! Remember, our nervous system is the container: Our well-being affects our children: when we are overwhelmed, tired, depressed, or anxious, or all of those combined, we tend to respond inappropriately toward our children. This can manifest in different ways — we don’t notice them, or we scream at them, or we punish them. We overreact or underreact to our kids.

Because our children need us to heal, this next section will focus on US! This is not self-indulgent; on the contrary, it’s necessary for us to PRIORITIZE ourselves in order to support our children. We call this Radical Self Care. We prioritize our own healing because that’s the most important thing we can do for our families. And don’t worry, we’ll have lots of opportunity to support our children along the way, too!

In the following pages, we’ll investigate and present proven methods for healing,. All the methods we present are supported by extensive research. there’s no wrong entry-point into healing. As you review the various methods we present, allow yourself to start with the tool that feels most compelling. This is your process and it’s ok to trust yourself as you take these first steps.

First, we’ll explore the basic lifestyle changes that can rewire our brain, calm us, and bring stability to our lives. These healing methods may seem small or even mundane but they are impactful.