Connection. That’s the key.

Kim and Matt Montleon in Wrestling Ghosts

Kim and Matt Montleon in Wrestling Ghosts

Our healing journey can come in many forms, but the essential one is CONNECTION. Connection to others can give us structure and help us to stay committed to our growth. Our childhood trauma happened through our closest relationships. Sometimes, that makes us afraid to connect, and we isolate. Social and emotional isolation can cause depression, anxiety, and other health issues. But healing also happens through relationships. Humans need each other; we need to feel we are not alone, we need to share stories and create meaningful connection. Even introverts crave valuable relationships!

It is the quality of the connection that counts. Studies have shown that the type of therapy we choose is less important than our relationship with our therapist. The same goes for other relationships we might be building: exercise buddies to stay motivated, new friends in meditation class, a cooking circle for healthy foods. And of course, the relationship with our family. Healthy connections keep us strong.

We want to offer you a process to create a healing community. Through hosting a screening of Wrestling Ghosts, we can help you inform others about the dramatic effects of childhood trauma, and the healing that is possible. A screening is also an opportunity to connect with the people in your community that might become healing partners! Information on how to screen the film can be found here.

After watching the movie, we encourage you to consider creating what we call a healing pod. Simply put, a healing pod is a group of local friends who meet regularly, share struggles openly, and support each other in their healing journey. As Dr. Brené Brown says: “In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” Healing pods can be as small or big as you wish. It can be members of your book group, or just you and your partner. You can find a discussion guide here to stimulate conversation after the movie.

We don’t have to be on this journey alone. We can invite others to join us, to help us stay accountable to ourselves, to keep us excited about our healing process. We can create partnerships to remind us to eat right, get some rest, go to yoga, or therapy. As the Dalai Lama reminds us: “Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.”

Let’s wrestle our ghosts together.